What to Say When the Lies Think They’ve Won.

I’ve been discouraged tonight.

I’ve been lied to.

I’ve been told that my identity is in how I feel about myself, rather than who I truly am.

And for a brief moment, I have fallen for it.

“I’m just a shell of anxiety.”

“I’m a burden.”

“I’m not really as valuable to my friends as they say I am; they’re just being nice out of obligation.”

Man, they were laid on thick tonight.

Well, excuse my language for a minute because it’s about to get colorful.

No.

Fuck that.

Let ME tell you who I am, while these lies just find their way straight back to the pit of Hell, where they came from.

I am a wife.

I have loved my husband fiercely.

I have fought for him, prayed for him.

I have filled oceans with tears of passion for him because that’s who I am – I fight for the good, and I don’t give up.

I am a mother.

I have awoken at the darkest hours of the night to tend to the needs of my sweet baby boy.

I haven’t done it perfectly. But I have leaned hard into frustration and allowed myself to fall to my knees when I couldn’t stretch myself any further.

I have watched my child sleep while he completely trusted in the loving arms of his mother.

And just as he has trusted in me, I have trusted in our God to sustain me when I felt I was at the end of myself.

I am a friend.

I have sat with grieving friends who just needed someone to listen. And they knew they were heard, even if just for a short time.

I have poured myself out for people who couldn’t give me anything in return.

I have forgiven men who have hurt me in the deepest ways possible, and I have chosen not to let bitterness grow.

I have looked fear straight in its sneering face, and I have commanded it to leave.

And then I watched as it cowered under an Authority that I could only find because I chose to believe it was there.

You see, I have chosen to fight the good fight, and I’ve been wise enough to know that this fight isn’t won alone.

I am persistent; I have chosen to trust the One who has given me the ability to persevere.

I have fought these these lies for years, and I have no intention of giving them the satisfaction of winning now.

Because I won’t be messed with.

Tonight, I’ll choose Truth.

And I’ll keep choosing Truth until it is my default; until these lies feel too intimidated to even try.